suffocated

im not myself again. :O

le NYC dream

This is the American Dream!
I'm gonna have a life here someday...

*

So I missed church this morning cuz i fell asleep too early last night, and forgot to make arrangements. The lamest excuse ever, I know >.<  Spent my afternoon watching YouTube videos by Ramona Champion and some other people. Sarah came back weeeee!! And we went for dinner at the Italian's along with the roomie :) My tummy bloated and got really uncomfortable. Still is uncomfortable :(

I just finished watching Grown Ups!! :D I think it's gonna be one of my all-time favourite movie!!! It's sooo good. Definitely one of the best family dramas ever. I'll definitely rewatch it again after this second time, next time in the future X)

Cheerz to an amazing day tmr! Excited for the zoooo!!! < 333

watched this a few days ago :)
cracked up like usual X)

Don't you think it's actually pretty cool that all of them have legit reasonable and 'proper' names? :D

Dream, wish, love.

Yayyyy im shooooo excited for Christmas!!! :D like my heart is beating so fast literally.
Well it's nice to feel like you own the day for just once yearly and to feel just that tid bit special :) even to the simplest terns, it's nice to be able to make requests without having a legit reason for once!  :D

Speaking of legit, I'll be 18 and legal for goodness sake. Woootzzzzzz. *up top up top*
I feel like a black person now haha.

The Suits episode I watched today was amazzinnggg. I watched a bit of Bridesmaids before deciding to continue in the morning. Went to One Utama today and walked for at least 6-7 hours. Hailing taxi was a pain in the buttocks but good gracious for MyTeksi :) I gotta declare that "I am not a shopaholic" cuz that's what shopaholics do LOL.  But srsly, I gotta save those kachings man. Srsly watch it chris!!!

Anyway, for my birthday cake this year, I've been eyeing the Baskin Robbins Peppermint Choco Ice-Cream Cake for ages. ♡♡♡ faith in humanity restored, for such an amazing cake ever invented. FTWFTWFTW. (Im nt sure if I used it right sar, but u are my prime reader so it's fine :p)

And oh gosshshhzzz, I wanna have Pizza Hut + KFC for my birthday meal! Ohohoh!! Or at least for one of its meals. Since there can be 3 meals a day :)) YUMMMM!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Nightz angelss ☆☆

welcome home Johanna :))

YAYYY HOLIDAYS!!!
I've got so many books that I wanna finish.
I've got so many series I gotta finish.
I've got so many movies to watch!

ehem, and I haven't finished UCAS application and completing that personal statement yet =.-

I think I've gotta get a timetable to allocate time fairly for series, books and movies.
Cuz now I'm glued to Suits, but only a movie each night at 11 pm.
I watched Grown Ups 2 this morning, great show! :)
I'm watching My Sassy Girl now.
I plan to watch all those popular movies off Megashare this time :)
Dang, holidays sure are sweet! It's so good how I don't have to worry about anything atm.
God is greaatttt!
Mum has been really generous, and i love her to bits.

I like ur long hair Johanna haha. Have fun at home!!!

xx

control freak much :P

One thing right now, is that I think that I've learned the art of letting go.

I know it doesn't sound very convincing heh. :p 

I prolly have allocated a little too much attention to trivial matters, and caused it to clog myself up bit by bit, giving me a near hemorrhage. O.O It's just like how I try to fit in as many photos in my blog as well as my purse, but they just won't fit and it just get clogged up. #truestory I think I've always tried too hard to hold on to things, worrying that if I ever loosen my grip, things will change, and I'll lose it forever. 

Coming from a vulnerable heart, it took me these 9-10 months to decide to give myself a break. And just let things flow on its own.There were just too much to handle. 

After all, to let go doesn't mean to stop caring. (:

*

So apparently, after some rough calculation, I figured that I had spent at least RM 520 on the trip. Christmas is coming, and hence it's that time of the year again where shopping is so much more fun!!, and especially since it's THE holidays now. I'm running low of cash and I feel awful to ask my parents for more money. 

I just hope there'd be another way to this. :(

Speaking of which, I gotta get a Juicer tmr. Inspired by many, also Sherry, I'm planning to go on a Juice Fast. It requires you to not consume anything solid at all for this 7-day Juice Fast plan. But then Cassy planned to bring me for fish head noodles one of these days. So shucks :( But I'll still go ahead and try it out. I hope the results are quick to come! Though it may not be ideal since I plan on still devouring that amazing fish head noodles :O 

I needa get fit or just lose a bit for at least prom on Saturday. hehe :p 

Mum doesn't encourage this idea. Dad kept bringing up how I have to be careful of my food intake. Ughh. It's vexing how this can get sometimes. :/ oh well.

Here's the link if you're interested to look into it ;)

http://www.justonjuice.com/7-day-juice-fast-plan/

p.s. i miss my girls!!! :O

it's a beautiful day and i cannot keep myself from smiling! :))

My favourite girls! :) < 3

Penang & Alor Setar

my favourite photo! < 3

The trip has been a bliss!
It had been wonderful, and definitely it's missed.
Imma post photos first, i'll be back with the content soon :)

ma favourite peepoz from college.

bfast at McDs :D

le really sexy executive room!
omgawds, we were so lucky to be upgraded :)

If CR and Alvin stayed in this room, it would've been real wrong.
hahahah

< 3

sowwieee testing the flash.

:O

:) 

< 3

dazzling, isnt it?

origin.

xxx

xx

xx

my fats are eating my face up alive :O

this just cracks me up real hard XD

I wanted to take a photo of my tebu with the Penang bridge,
but then the barrier was just there =.=

on the Penang Bridge to Butterworth.

Shareen's crib.

dream catchers

shareen's collage

shareeeen the cutez piez < 3

Cassy's! :)

Anyway, Penang and Kedah have been a bliss. it was a sweet time spent! :) 

love you peepo.

wake me up when it's all over

my room's a mess. 

my bags filled with bags are on my bed, the closet door's open, my luggage fills the space btw my closet and bed, washing machine door's open, hangbag & cardigan & unzipped purse & recycling bag & cables & one sock & small pouch are on the couch, 3 cups all separated on the table with my stack of small books, haywire of cables, hard disk, water bottle, a pencil, a candy, atm card, hairclips, candy paper, table lamp. in the midst of all this disarray though, i'm not complaining. heh.

sounds silly hey? 

my mum'd be pulling my hair off my scalp if she were here. 

i'd be having the week where the monday blues are extended weekwide. 

oh well, i forgot the reason why i thought of posting abt the clutter. 

im a lil peculiar. 

i slept through scenes in 3 movies within one day itself. 

Percy Jackson 1, 2 and Mr and Mrs Smith.

i figured i gotta get my shit together. 

i've been watching Suits, and i've been constantly mindblown ever since. 

i miss Penang dearly, and im ecstatic that i'm over the crap that's been clouding me all this while. 

i feel free like a bird now, so much more intact and sane now. 

im happy that my sight's free from ambiguity now, 

and my list of things to do is clearly shown in my head.

i was a tad bit exasperated about my weight just now. 

i felt unhappy with myself and i really wanna work out. 

i went to skip rope for only 20 mins then returned home feeling bitter and sulky. 

i ranted to vikki, alfred, they gave me some interesting advices. 

i really wanna work out. i just feel like i won't be able to manage on my own will. 

i need someone to push me, just like how Mr Yee did though we were never tight. 

but looking back, that was one of my proudest achievement in life, though i didn't excel.

i feel like a very weird person now, cuz whatever i wanna say, it slowly disappears once i start typing about it. i feel like a drunk Mike Ross. pfffsh O.O

signing out, 

the home alone girl with the blue thick North Face jumper in her studio apartment cuz the air conditioner's blowing her way and is freezing her out.

mood: feeling weird.

HI :)

Greetings from Penang from me, Cassy, Shareen, Nat, Alvin and Chee Ren :)

Today was splendid, and hope you are doing great too!

Sar, I'm so excited that you're home, have all the fun you need!!! :D xoxoxo

And johanna, may you reach land below the wind soon and enjoy all that good stuff! :D

nights.

Days after AS ! :D

Wednesday - Had Pan Mian with Cassy as we shared some interesting ideas and thoughts about dudes and life :) it's always lovely with her. I went back and started Suits once I was done with PLL. DAMN. Love at first sight. It was amazing! Went to get Starbucks at night, Peppermint Mocha Frappucino or smth. It's part of the X'mas deal ;) I loved it! < 3

Thursday - One Utama with Amanda and Yi-Ling :) Spent RM 200 and bought clothes!!!  < 3  shi zai shi man zai er gui ah! :D I will post photos soon. Watched Miss Universe Malaysia. Penang tmr.

FATSO

books that Amanda bought, books that I wanna read too.

----

this broke my heart.

I sobbed my way through, haha.

im a softie lul
#badphoto

byez :)

AS Story Ends, with an interesting story.

Economics 12 was held at Delta. It was alright, tricky questions too. But like I said previously, my emotions towards the examination couldn't be evaluated significantly, so let's just leave it as it is. Though there was a tinge of happiness as I could watch movies as I wish, and not feel bad about it! :D It felt really good tbh, I'm sure it does, in the bottom of my heart. Just clouded by lotsa other stuff idk :p Hmm.

I went to Pin Chuan with Sar to get they yum yum kuey teow, and buried my head in tv shows ever since. I tidied my place really well in half an hour - smth I'm really proud of ;) before leaving for dinner with CR, Alvin, Blake, Sean, Roland, Therense, Franson and Sar. 

We went to Ampang for this western food, which was pretty good :) As we departed at 8.30pm, CR stopped his car at a petrol station as Alvin pointed out CR's flat tyre. A random guy at the side came to our aid, and pumped air into the tyre. It went flat straight as CR drove his car just a few metres forward. The dude suggested a 'tape' to paste over the hole. CR and T called their parents to ask for advice. Idk how, but the dude and another magically appeared dude were fiddling with the tyre and I think they sorta messed it up even worse than a simple flat tyre. The thing took forever till an hour.

So anyway, tyre was fixed, and several malfunction symbols lit up. We went to watch Thor at the cinemas screening from 11.30 - 1.30 a.m. Me and Sean were ecstatic, but we both fell asleep in btw LOL. As we dropped tim y home, CR stopped the car to restart the engine as the car was thought to be overheating. After filling in some water to hydrate the exhaust fumes (im not sure abt this), the car wouldn't start and we were stuck on the road at 2++ a.m. in the morning. I thought it was exciting but feared the worst, just a lil, that the car would explode and i had to explain to my parents. They're not the biggest fans of me hanging out late at night. D:

Blake and the other people came by to see if they could help, but nth. Police came and left, i was bummed. Finally Therense and Alvin came to the rescue, sent us home around 3am and I slept only around 5 as I caught up with PLL.

Over the weekend

Hello world! It's been a while, I'm sorry for the late post! >.<

So, hmm Saturday and Sunday.. I don't remember much of what I did besides trying to get my head focused for the exam on Monday and Tuesday. Before that, I had spent Tuesday till Friday watching Pretty Little Liars, and it was extremely addictive till I was hooked till this extent, which I'm sure you'll understand how bad it is. I remember scrolling through YouTube videos of Lucy Hale and the girls, wondering why she isn't as tight with em as the others with each other. I fell asleep after not feeling very well and woke up feeling worn out as ever after a bad dream - i suppose it's unresolved conflict relevant to the Lucy Hale matter. I love her and Ian Harding and the rest of the PLL cast dearly though, i really do. 

On Sunday, I was supposed to attend church with Sarah, but I slept in as I slept only at 2++ am the night before and I was in some serious need of sleep. I think I studied that day, I should have been since I had Psychology 22 the next day.

Monday.

Psychology 22 went by, the questions were pretty tricky and the answering process wasn't as smooth as our class tests were or our exercises were. The fact that there were 6 essays and a few other subquestions to finish within 1.5hrs slipped out of my mind until I was outside the exam venue getting ready. LOL. During the exam, I zoned out tons as I felt the entire exam season had been stretched too long, and the exam stress/anxiety were fading bits and bits, slowly draining our energy as we'd be overwhelmed with guilt if we did other things besides studying during our free time. I went for lunch with Sarah, Cassy and Shareen at Kim Gary where Sarah showed me photos from the past along with lively narrations as we both reminisced. :) There was council meeting afterwards, where I got the Halloween lightstick from Ms D ;p The night went by as we prepped for Economics 12 the next day.

*

Happy birthday to my dearest pal Siao Ying. :) love you long time and u know it! < 3 loads of lovee.

Period.

Penguin Chai, Lolo, Wei, Jiun, Jiee

Swarmed by text messages from very homie people when

 I woke up at 10.44a.m. (:

Perfect morning.

Six degrees of Seperation

#spiritualInspiration from tumblr

God has placed eternity in the hearts of mankind. Everything we experience not only serves a purpose here on earth, but it serves a purpose for eternity. Right now, God is working in you and putting inside of you everything you need to fulfill your eternal destiny. He is making you ready to rule and reign with Him. As long as you are moving forward and gaining strength, you are gaining eternal victory. 

View what’s going on in your life with an eternal perspective. You have a higher calling; you have a greater purpose. Focus on what God is doing in your life. Don’t allow the little irritations to get you off course or distract you from what God has called you to do. Open your heart and mind and allow Him to prepare you for eternity. As you keep an eternal perspective and stay determined to be who God has called you to be you will see His hand moving in your life and you will live as an overcomer now and throughout eternity.

Unsaid Promises You've Made to Your Best Friend :3

http://americantwentynothings.tumblr.com/post/65060373865/unsaid-promises-youve-made-to-your-best-friend

Having best friends is great. Your twenties would be no fun without having someone to care about your well-being…

Someone who cares about your future: “You have ten minutes to change out of your yoga pants, we’re going out… do you want to die alone?”  

…about your health: “Okay so, if we split the chocolate lava cake, it’s not that bad, right?”

…about your career: “Are you still talking to that cute guy in Accounting?”

And in return, you make a promise to do the same. You may never say them aloud (probably because they sound really effing stupid),  but below you’ll find a small sampler of the subconscious promises you’ve made to your bestie.

Promise #1: You post it, I like it.

Oh you posted something on social media? Like. Favorite. RT. Done. Am I tagged? Do I think it’s funny? Do I even understand it? Doesn’t matter.

Promise #2: Whether or not I’ve ever met them… If you hate them, I’ll come up with a hundred examples of why they are the worst. 

Your co-worker that makes you feel stupid.  The bagger at Whole Foods who rolls his eyes every time you forget your cloth bags. Your loser ex-boyfriend. THEY SUCK.

Promise #3: I promise to have vodka in my freezer.

I mean, that’s just pretty standard.

Promise #4: If I’m in the same city, I promise I will pick you up from a disastrous situation… and if it’s really bad, we can make a pit-stop at my freezer (see Promise #3).

Maybe it’s raining, you have no umbrella, and you spent A LOT of time on your hair this morning… or maybe you woke up in an “unfamiliar location” in last night’s outfit. A boring party, an awful date. Give me five minutes.

Promise #5: Professional Text Message Analyst at your service.  I’ll even help from long distance, thank God for screenshots.

"How many exclamation points?!" " Was there an emoji, or no?" "Wait, no don’t respond." "Ew why did he say that?"

Promise #6: I will not let you walk out of the house looking like an idiot.                   

Wedges or sandals, gold or silver, dress or jeans? I got you. And I’m not afraid to say “umm, maybe don’t wear that.”  Because it’s better me sayin’ it, than everyone else thinkin’ it.

It took BFFs Amy and Tina over an hour to decide on this matching sparkly gold ensemble. Solid delivery on Promise #6. 

At Peace.

To be honest, I wish I had realised this earlier. To not make a big fuss out of a trivial matter. Because honestly, this over-sensitivity hit me really hard. And I wish I remembered that life is simple, and let things just fall simply instead of being a pessimist, being paranoid like a girl who must sit stills as threatened by needles' prickles otherwise. I was a time-bomb, you poke me, it takes seconds to rekindle the bomb before a massive explosion follows.

I feel so bad that I put myself into this situation, as well as the other parties. But after much thinking, I suppose it's just bad timing. Really bad timing. Where usual and ordinary bits and pieces of unsettled friendship lamentably became the concurring Sandy hurricane that hit me where I was at my lowest, trying to adjust to new changes.

I'm sorry. And well, God lead the way! (:

*

Oh and hey Derpina, if you're reading this..
Know that I'd be delighted to be there for you whenever you need me ok?
I find our friendship kinda interesting.
It's slightly ambiguous at times,
But when we meet, it feels like the loose ends automatically tie again.
How do you feel? Hmm.
Anyway, I love you so much cuz you are one of the person with the biggest hearts I'm serious!
And for whoever who hasn't met you,
It's definitely one big loss :)

future **ver

I would marry you.

Would u?

...

i always thought that i'd never be good enough

i always think that i'll never be good enough