So I was having one heck of a week last week, (in a good way), it started off well and the exuberance was just all over in the air, although I fell sick and didn't get to catch up with studies as intended. < I decided to linger on the joy of being sick since it's so rare. :P anywho, it didn't come to a halt until Friday, when a friend from my clique flipped out at me for chatting with another friend during group discussion. Well, aside from taking personal offense in the issue itself, what disturbed me was the whole other context of it. Feeling misunderstood and lost in confusion, I didn't know what to say but just remained in the context of disbelief.
I know the principles of getting through life, I know the facts included in the "Guide to Life" book. I know it. But I just can't help myself from escaping from the emotions that came by. It was a relatively good day, and I was looking forward to going to Homes, and spending the weekend prolly shopping with Eileen, going to church and just, having time off for myself. That wasn't a good start. After homes, I went to Wilson's place to play Lami with the oh-so-lovely-friends, and had a great time! Went to eat Luk Luk and then Darren got pissed at me. (not so good.)
I went home, crashed at 3am then woke up to Eileen's texts saying that she wants to go shopping. Though heavy-hearted still with what happened the day before, I was anticipating the time we were gonna spend together. And, LOL, we were in Pyramid from 12ish till 9pm at night - we had porridge lunch, went to look for bags, ate Poppiah (amazeballs!), bought Boost Juice, ate Aunty Annes, I bought my contacts, I bought a small bag, shopped for Daphne's gift, bought some hair accessories, bought Eileen's bag (yay!!! highlight of the day - purpose achieved), and then watched Bean while eating dinner, found out that there were no more taxis to go home, called Yan Hao and Jeff but to no avail, and then Tian Chun (the awesomest!) came to pick us up and go home. It was a great day! :)
I got home around 9ish, feeling excited to organize my newly bought items, and clean up my room, then mum called. She was wondering why I haven't called in a while, and I said the same - as I've been sick the past few days, I didn't wanna call her cuz I didn't want her to hear my raspy voice, I just decided to wait for them to call, to 'find out'. Then mum told me about her pain through the thing, and then she got really concern when she found out that I was unwell. So she went all motherly asking me how I'm doing, and telling me what to do and what not. I said that I missed her (rare), and she said (with that super motherly voice), "then we'll fly to see you," "or you can come home," I know it wasn't all that possible cuz I was busy with uni, but then I teared up after hanging up.
At that instant, I was overwhelmed with pain and sadness and regret? I don't know. I was in pain as I realised my parents are getting older and yet they're still working so hard to fund the family. Regret? because I wished I could do something that could lighten their burden - but it's clear in the picture that this won't materialise until many years to come. I teared up after I hung up, and I was just thinking who should I talk to. Although not very convinced that she'd hear me out, I just texted Bananie cuz she's like my no.1 punching bag. She replied after a while, and didn't seem keen to skype me. I was a bit sad, but then I just decided to maybe just brush it off. Then i showered and she said she was on the phone with her mum, so we decided to skype. I didn't think i was gonna be an open book in front of her, but tears just flowed down naturally XD
And we chatted till midnight.
As previously mentioned in the blogspot about embracing the moment, though that time was all teary and seemed to be categorised as 'sad' by the norm, it was one of the best as I was able to confide in my best friend, and it was so heartwarming, and some day, everyone's cup will overflow. So that was my moment, and now that it has overspilt ready for another refill, I'm okay. That moment, was so precious, in a way I was so grateful for such a friend in need. Grateful for such great people around me, grateful for my family. Bananie is one of the most beautiful person I've ever met, when you meet her, her inner beauty just outshines her appearance so so much, you'll always feel drawn to her. Amazing wonders God does. I wonder what was God's true intention for you to be on this earth? I mean, I know it, sorta, but just curious of how exactly God phrased it :)
please stay you, my love.
God is so, so, so, so, good.
:)
"Courage is not limited to the battlefield. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests, like enduring pain when the room is empty or standing alone when you're misunderstood." Charles Swindoll
