my random sharing on my takeaways from the above sermon - here for my digital journal xx
i.e. how sometimes the worst things happen to "good" Christians i.e. death of her husband, leaving her with 2 kids in a society where women dont work & are completely dependent on their husbands. Felt this was smth our generation struggle with sometimes, where it's so hard for us to accept it when we hit roadbumps, how we forget that a perfect life is not void of challenging seasons, and sometimes i find it hits “Christians” even more, cuz they’re supposedly faithful and God is supposed to bless, and blessings are supposed to look like only good and happy things.
then there’s picking up whatever fragment of strength left within you to keep going, trying, reach out to people, seek help - when sometimes all you feel in the moment is anything but that; when all you want is just to be a recluse and sit with your hurt and brokenness.
then there’s the genuine desperation to the extent of trying even the most “impossible” or illogical” methods to give life another shot i.e. pour a small jar of olive into many many jars. like imagine the thought of even going around borrowing the many jars to be begin with.. & not knowing where it’s gonna go, as if there’s still room to be ridiculed in the woman’s life if it doesn’t promise results. as ridiculous as it seems, at least it’s giving life another fair shot and committing to it regardless, by going through the process entirely before calling it quits i.e. pouring the oil until it runs out.
and it sounds like the act of pouring was quite a long one since there were many jars. but just in the moment of pouring… like in the in-between moments of life where we’re not sure where we’re headed, unable to make sense of purpose / life, and we’re just cruising through in a state of despair and brokenness… maybe years of “drought” so to say, or barrenness. but still choosing to be faithful with life at least - by showing up, and keep giving life a shot until God speaks.
I guess im an advocate of “showing up” in life even when we feel life doesn’t give us a reason to. I used to despair when i dont hear back from God or dont understand where my life’s headed, and just wished God’d just tell me what’s what. Very stubborn to wait on God’s clear “signs” before I can move on. But i’ve learnt that it’s important to keep going even when we feel lost, when we dont feel God speaking.
And finally, there’s just something about experiencing God in the despair and brokenness of a difficult season. Especially those when you’re at a breaking point, in the midst of losing your faith, when you really fuh reals get tested and it’s matters beyond just whines or complaints but real baggages of bitterness, heartache, grieve, anger etc all that ugly stuff that really stands to tear your relationship with God / & people around you - apart. But once you break through, it’s really a whole new experience of God’s intimacy altogether. While i dont wish for difficult seasons for anyone at all, but i can like look back at a more challenging season in my life with a lingering feeling of how intimate the walk with God was - through the silence, “absence” pain and what not :P
and experiencing all the above with faith in knowing (from head knowledge) that God “never forsakes”, to truly knowing in your spirit that God is always with you & for you.
OH OH and final finally, “living on what’s left”, difficult seasons change people - for better, or worse. But if we rise above our situation and have broken through with God, we can know confidently that the by-product of those seasons will be intended by God for more in the next seasons of our lives. No matter how sad / pathetic it may seem, after all the ugly unravels :P or even with real life collaterals in the process i.e. loss of a loved one / job / limbs
/// and final final finally, a point im left with how the story kinda had an abrupt end to it. Like… “What’s next?” “She finds herself with extra jars..” I realise I’m into movies like this these days.. Where it’s just the journey.. and suddenly the phrase “there’s no endings, just journeys” means caught a new meaning today. This reminds me of a quote I used to find cringy i.e. “God answers by giving Himself”.
I learn again that sometimes, we don’t find the answer to what we go through. Sometimes, there’s no answer. Doesn’t mean it has no purpose. But just…
And then we gotta learn to have faith and live with what’s left in the best way possible; trusting that God loves us enough even in the season; and loves us so much that our season was intended to refine us; that's what's left is the best version of me for God to use no matter how broken; that He is delighted with us no matter our state; that He will keep using us to glorify Him - and that eventually, our answers will be found in Heaven. But in the meantime, He will suffice and be all. //
then we can finally learn that even when we feel empty, God‘s faithfulness will never run out.
