:)

+

my lovely lunch today,

that i forgot to take photo until halfway through

oh how i'll miss this when I leave to UK

love you chicken & hor fun.

muacks

and burger last night woohoo

 oh yes, rebel baby. 

i look bad, but oh yes, rebel baby.

holy crap.

OMGOSH

-SATISFACTION OF A GOOD BUY/BARGAIN-

Lol :') happy tears!

I've been pondering for ages, and last I checked was 2 days ago - RM 247.00 cheapest. But I had to confirm with other people first hence didnt buy.

This morning I checked, RM 291, argh painful - and annoying too, cuz the server wasn't working very well. I tried at least 5 times to get it through > to no avail.

An hour later, I was happy to find that it was RM 247!! Then I hurriedly booked it, tried to complete the process at least 5 times, after being redirected to pages after pages in between. I keyed in my dad's card 3-4 times > so heart attack cuz you wont know whether it's been charged or not.

>>> to no avail.

And now, 4pm++ holy moly, RM 129 - the usual price to fly back to KK.

:)

If you look at it one way, it's interesting and amusing the way God works :) holding the system down > resulting in my frustrations > so that I get the cheapest bargain?! Maybe to help save me some bucks since I've spent some doing Christmas shopping yesterday..

Don't know whether that could be it, people may call it lucky, but since I don't really believe in luck.. Hm, but if this is it, how cute and adorable! Am very grateful. Feeling shameful too cuz God still did that despite me venting my frustrations o.O hehe.

beauty of devotions - God speaks

p.s. these days my devotions have been so point. it’s crazy.

just as my previous post vented my frustrations with being careless & [the fact that i have to spend big bucks to mend the holes :’(], the devotion speaks of “You cannot control everything, and that’s OK”. - http://www.pktfuel.com/surrender/?mc_cid=d7587cdfd6&mc_eid=5fd9564641

For the past two days, the devotion spoke of “beware the barrenness of a busy life” & “you can always turn your eyes away” > which shared about how being productive isn’t always great, that it’s worthy to take our time through certain events in life. and how to determine what we should invest our time in, how to assess what gives us value... > which is what that's been constantly mindboggling me. (straight to the heart feels)
super timely. 

you can check out the links here:

http://www.pktfuel.com/waste-of-time/?mc_cid=05326332a8&mc_eid=5fd9564641

http://www.pktfuel.com/my-eyes/?mc_cid=9e5ced8a88&mc_eid=5fd9564641

precious moments with mum

Hello world~

not really sure what I’m feeling today, I don’t rmb clearly tho rmb feeling quite upset/disappointed/agitated earlier today. 

[partially overslept + forgot that mum was coming + this guy in uni who gives me the creeps + how im so imperfect + maybe just cuz i hadn't eaten.l.]

despite all this, God i thank You for this moment, i thank You for mum :)

mum and her constant cuppa drink huehuehue

+  my food journal today:

started off my day with a bunch //

and then mum left me, so i went to makan around 5.30pm ++, was strugglnig with the menu as usual - was battling between pork + squid bbq or vegetarian bibimbap actually. I settled for the latter cuz i wanted to get Texas chicken after & the thought of all things meat just incited paranoia in me. plus i kept reminded myself to be more thrifty

and then it came with this, pre-dish/appetizers?

super filling, amen mm mmm.

i bought Texas chicken back to the hotel.

Then as i showered and settled down, my laptop couldn't connect to the internet. 

So i dressed up again and went down to starbucks. 

Christmas pannetone frap

The guy gave me a 30% discount so I only paid Rm 12+ instead of RM 18+. 

unsure why, but def a plus!

am loving my DEVOTION today :)

Find this post here!

Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way. 

Ps 119:37 (NKJV)

Waste of Time – Part 1

Distractions are EVERYWHERE. There’s always another book to read, movie to watch, friends to catch up with, post to make on Facebook, picture to perfect with VSCO for Instagram, emails to write, room to clean, friend to call, errands to run, Netflix show to binge, shopping to do, food to cook, services to go to, hair to wash… ha! You name it, there is an endless amount of things for us all ’to do.’

And I don’t know about you, but most things on my list seem viable. Even Netflix. (yep… I said it. Ha!) How do you decide what is a distraction and a worthless project to engage in and what activity is beneficial and productive for you?

I told someone once that I wanted to write fiction. His response to my desire was that fiction didn’t change lives and, therefore, wasn’t a worthy pursuit. I don’t think he quite meant it in that way, but at the same time, some of the “less practical” things in life can be seen as wasteful, and an added extra if we have time. We tend to think that the most important things are the tangible, measurable, productive things… The physical output of our lives. Everything that doesn’t directly correlate to that can be (I’m definitely not saying should be) labeled as wasteful.

Here’s what I know. You can waste your life away on productivity – you can waste your children’s years, you can waste every sunrise and sunset, you can waste the art galleries that adorn our towns and cities like Christmas lights shining all kinds of beauty into the world, you can waste that song on the radio, you can waste the love of your life, you can waste your youth, you can waste your wealth on material possessions, you can waste knowledge on greed and fortune… you can waste everything you have on productive, measurable, workable things. And at the end of it, have no one to share it with.

Socrates said, “Beware the barrenness of a busy life…” and Dolly Parton (Did I just quote Socrates and Dolly Parton in the same sentence – INDEED I DID – #winning) said, “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”

If you spend your life on productivity alone, it will kill your soul. We need both beauty and productivity, rest and play and work, sleep and exercise, food and water – we need a balance of all these things to keep our heart, mind and body functioning at their best.

Spending a day resting is not a waste of a day. Feeding your imagination with a novel or a film is not a waste of time. Walking slowly through an art gallery is not a waste of a walk. Listening to a podcast on science is not a waste of hearing. Tinkering in the shed fixing up an old classic is not a waste of elbow grease… on the contrary. It’s often these things, these seemingly wasteful things, that empower us for our best productive work.

So again, the question is, what is wasteful? What should we divert our eyes from?

Ps 119:37 in The Passion Translation reads, 
“Help me turn my eyes away from illusions so that I pursue only that which is true; drench my soul with life as I walk in your paths”

Perhaps the better question to ask is, “what is my path to walk?”

To be continued…

haiiii Disemberrr :)

went shoppiinnn' for foundation and makeup remover after dinner ketchup with Destiny :) 

what a lovely time spent with such a beautiful girl! we should totally do this more often.

I was so sakai when buying cosmetics, 

now I feel one step closer to becoming like Ms Li Sher hue hue.

^ totally drilling into my head the responsibility to make big bucks to afford ok lifestyle in za futurr.

it's been soooooo long! sooo good to see you again :) 

i'm sorry that we stopped talking, im generally terrible at things like this,

i need to learn to deal with it instead of jeopardizing friendships again in the future.

am happy for you though :)

welcomin' xmas :)

Twas' a really good night out, 

welcoming xmas whilst celebrating the wrap up of assignments, 

as well as me being natural, relieved, myself for the one time in a long time, 

maskless hangout, extented to round 2, 

Cosans helped in welcoming the best festive of the year :)

drink was artsy, but then looked like crap afterwards^ haha.

literally close to perfect!

butterscotch latte or the such :3 christmas specials wee~~!!!

Ah fu, ma ogcp buddehhh.
3 hrs skype man.

Just because I can

Because Jesus has given me strength,
And it is done.
So I will finish, and complete, well.

They, Them and Jesus

Find this post here:

Parables are NOT illustrations or fables meant to reveal a certain point. They are provocative stories designed to make us think. They get under our skin, into our hearts and mess around with our world view. They are disruptive, oddly encouraging, and leave you with both questions and hope alike. Today, being so far removed from the cultural aspects of Jesus life, it’s easy to read the parables two-dimensionally and not think much of them… But they have depth and meaning that can only be grasped when you understand how they function. Jesus rarely interpreted his parables, and this in itself reveals how they work. The meaning bends and morphs over time, through situations and depending on where you’re at when you hear it, making them timeless and transcendent.

***

The more correct translation is “Mystery”… and NOT some weird, out there, hard to find mystery. But one that requires faith to be seen. A mystery that leads one to silence… to “be still and know that (he is) God…”

To live alive to the mystery, to be able to hear and see, to receive the seed that The Sower plants, is a life of faith. But how often does fear play on our faith, knocking it around a little, causing a touch of blindness and an ounce of deafness.But does our ability to hear and see effect God’s ability to keep on revealing his mystery? Has he turned off the sun and sent the moon to bed simply because some cannot see him in them? Does he silence blessing and hide his generosity because there are those who can’t see it for the goodness that it is? Does he hide the cross because some cannot fathom its power?

Paul reminds us that
 “even if we are faithless, he will still be full of faith, for he never wavers in his faithfulness to us!” 
(2 Tim 2:13)

God

Where my courage ends,

Let my heart find strength in Your presence.

here, now

Fix my eyes, 

on the things that I can't see now

And all I see,

is the glory of Your name

thank You.

mega mega mega grateful. (:

*

*'So Close' playing in the background..

:) doing life

"I'll be there for you,"

so simple,
yet so powerful.

repost from @pocketfuel

I’ve had depression on and off throughout my 33 years, and I can tell you that it is indeed a disease… a sickness, an illness.

You don’t get it from being undisciplined or lazy or pessimistic… For most of us, it arrived like any other disease does: with little warning and loads of confusion. Because of its ridiculous stigma, many depression sufferers suffer alone and in silence, afraid and unable to ask for help… I got told things like: “Read your bible more, just think happier thoughts, pray more, go for walks, don’t eat bread…” And the list of well intentioned but completely ignorant and diminishing help notes and tid-bit advise goes on, cutting deep and driving sufferers further into shame.

Like any other disease, of course eating healthy, changing your diet and lifestyle and being positive can make a big difference… And sometimes no difference at all. The thing with depression is that it becomes the absence of feeling… A heaviness like no-other, and doing simple things like going for a walk is like asking someone with 2 broken arms to play a game of basketball.

Here in Australia, it’s National “R U OK” day. The more we ask this question of ourselves and of others, the more we can talk about mental health and suicide open heartedly, the more the disease comes out from the underground and into the light, the more help and healing and hope there will be.

R U OK?

Ask someone today, and if they’re not, don’t give them any advice, don’t try and fix them, or positive-talk them out of it… That only closes the door to wholeness. Instead, look that person in the eyes and tell them that no matter what you’ll be there. That they are not alone… there is hope because they are loved.

And if you are not OK, PLEASE tell someone… It could save your life.

Dr Brene Brown says, “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Lizzy xo

#ruok

precious!

@Kaki Bola XO, Taman Paramount

#blessed

finding your purpose

“I wish I knew it earlier..”

As much as i know that i shouldn’t dwell on that thought, i still told my friend hoping to hear what his reply was gonna be.

“I think most of the times after we experience certain things we wished we could’ve known it earlier because it might change something but it is those times that we are struggling and doubting that test our faith and trust in God. And what’s the fun of knowing everything?”

“I think that god will not place you where you’re not meant to be. There’s a purpose for him to place you where you are and you have to fin it. And yes, it’ll take time and to continue believing in the midst of the situation is not easy..”

What is this

* 

hello

temporary home.

‘Get your hands off me,’ he said, struggling to shake me off. 

‘No,’ I shook my head. ‘Please, listen ...’ I tried to compose myself before continuing: 

‘It’s not what you think it’s going to be in there,’ I said, looking down and imagining how it would feel for him, staring into that darkness, wanting to end it all; how bad things must be for him to want that. He was studying me intently again. ‘You don’t want to end your life, you want to end your pain, the pain you’re feeling right now, the pain that I’m sure you wake up with and go to bed at night with. Maybe no one around you understands that, but I do, believe me.’ I saw that his eyes were filling, I was getting through to him. ‘But you don’t want to end it all the time, do you? Just sometimes it passes through your mind, probably more often lately than before. It’s like a habit, trying to think of different ways to end it all. But it passes, doesn’t it?’ 

He looked at me carefully, taking every word in. 

‘It’s a moment, that’s all. And moments pass. If you hang in there, this moment will pass and you won’t want to end your life. You probably think that no one cares, or that they’ll get over you. Maybe you think they want you to do this. They don’t. No one wants this for anyone. It might feel as if there are no options, but there are – you can come through this. Get down and let’s talk about it. Whatever is going on, you can get through it. It’s a moment, that’s all,’ I whispered, tears running down my cheeks. 

I took a sidelong glance at him. He swallowed hard, he was looking down now. Thinking about it, weighing up his options. Live or die. Surreptitiously I scanned the bridge entrances on Bachelors Walk and Wellington Quay, still no gardaí, still no members of the public to help me. I was glad of that at this stage; I had managed to engage with him, I didn’t want anybody else to distract him, panic him, bring him back to that place again. 

I thought about what to say next, something that would make the time pass until professional help arrived, something positive that wouldn’t trigger any anger in him. But in the end I didn’t have to say anything because he spoke first. 

‘I read about a guy who jumped in the river last year. He was drunk and decided to go swimming, only he got stuck under a shopping trolley and the currents swept him away. He couldn’t get out,’ he said, his voice cracking with the emotion.
‘And you liked the sound of that?’ 

‘No. But then it will be over. After all that, it will be over.’ 

‘Or it will be the beginning of a new kind of pain. As soon as you’re in that water, no matter how much you want it, you’ll panic. You’ll fight it. You’ll struggle to take in oxygen and your lungs will fill with water because, even though you think you don’t want to live, your instinct will be to stay alive. It’s in you to want to stay alive. As soon as the water is drawn into your larynx, another natural instinct is for you to swallow it. Water will fill your lungs, which will weigh down your body, and if you change your mind and decide you want to live and try to get to the surface, you won’t be able to. And the thing is, there are so many people around you right now, they’re ready to dive in and rescue you – and do you know what? You think it’ll be too late, but it won’t be. Even after you lose consciousness, the heart will carry on beating. They can give you mouth-to-mouth and pump out the water and fill your lungs with air again. They could save you.’ His body was shaking and not just from the cold. I felt him go limp beneath my arms. ‘I want it to end.’ His voice shook as he spoke. ‘It hurts.’ 

‘What hurts?’ 

‘Specifically? Living.’ He laughed weakly. ‘Waking up is the worst part of my day. Has been for a long time.’ 

‘Why don’t we talk about this somewhere else?’ I said, concerned, as his body went rigid again. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to talk about his problems while he was hanging off the side of a bridge. ‘I want to hear everything you have to say, so let’s get down now.’ 

‘It’s too much.’ He closed his eyes and spoke more to himself. ‘I can’t change things now. It’s too late,’ he said quietly, leaning his head back so that it rested by my cheek. We were oddly close for two strangers. 

‘It’s never too late. Believe me, it’s possible for your life to change. You can change it. I can help you,’ I said. 

I didn’t want him dwelling on the negative, on whatever it was that had sent him here. ‘Fine,’ I said confidently, ‘If your life doesn’t change, it’s your decision what you do. But I’m telling you that it can. I’ll show you. You and me, we’ll do it together, we’ll see how wonderful life can be. I promise you.’ 

‘It’s a deal,’ he near whispered.

How To Fall In Love - Cecelia Ahern 

take heart

everything is gonna be ok. :)

How to overcome fear of meeting new people?

Be positive that there are plenty of other awesome people like me around! :D

awesome read!

What I Learned About Life After Interviewing 80 Highly Successful People

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/life-lessons-from-highly-successful-people-2014-12#ixzz3jjnkkIyo

http://www.alifeonyourterms.com/the-first-law-of-living-a-life-on-your-terms/

glorious ruins;

When the mountains fall
And the tempest roars You are with me
When creation folds
Still my soul will soar on Your mercy

When the world caves in
Still my hope will cling to Your promise
Where my courage ends
Let my heart find strength in Your presence

I'll walk through the fire
With my head lifted high
And my spirit revived in Your story
And I'll look to the cross
As my failure is lost
In the light of Your glorious grace

Let the ruins come to life
In the beauty of Your Name
Rising up from the ashes
God forever You reign

And my soul will find refuge
In the shadow of Your wings
I will love You forever
And forever I'll sing

*A part of me am aware that my story in Taylor's isn't finished yet.
And yes, thank You that my failure is lost, as I look to the cross - in the light of your glorious grace.

This is my song, Amen.

Today, I learnt..

that when someone trusts you enough to share their stories in life with you, they trust you enough not to judge them.

hi (:

"mixed emotions"

tell me about it.

Heart

My heart is rather full.

***Correction: my heart is super full. 

(:

#thankYou

friends

so much feels, this photo

So I heard from these two earlier today, got me eyes a lil teary, just a lil bit ok. It's always nice to catch up with people you're comfortable with, people who believe in you, people who accept you for who you are, people who love you. I'm immensely grateful, that I'm still considerably close to a handful of friends from school though we don't talk everyday. But it's nice to know that they are the ones you can seemingly count on, when you need them around. Recently, I've been catching up with several friends from high school, ranging from those two above, jacob, ahlap, shafie, daphne, xuan, cedric, seol, petz, ah heng, dav, sar, occassionally rav, sher & derp.. it's all good. sometimes it feels hard to reconcile the past & present idea of me, lulz, but grateful for all that i have regardless.

meanwhile, spent a great day with shannon & caleb despite the mini headache afterwards. 

looking forward to more of life :)

xoxo

'the struggle is #real'

Hi, my name is Crizzazle :D

*

Been duck hunting lately with Kenneth (mega-grateful!!!),

And went for durians! :)

  

  

sankiue so mucho for having mua :)

meanwhile, at RA today. Ps Dave came back! :)

uh-huh, i'm worth it

OWH YEA

so dirty heh.
twas a great night.
exchanged a fair share of laughters :)

thank You

potato Christian :)

Today marks the last day of my exams, as well as the end of Sem 1. Went for dinner with Amy and Jess after hangouts, before heading to CHC for Ps Kong Hee's service. Thanks Jeff for your invite, and it was great to see Graeme too :) *I went to the bookstore after service, and voila!, after searching 'high & low' in a way, I finally found Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I can't wait to read it! The bookstore experience was interesting tho cuz I asked the bookstore-keeper, and they couldn't find it tho they seemed like they were searching the area where the book actually lies. I called Fiona and just fiddled around with my other free hand, then i found it -.- But YAY! < 3 I've heard quite some reviews about it, and also got to know that bubz reads it too :) can't wait! :))

Learnt about mental strength today, how we endure trials by enlarging our mental capacity. 

*more soon

Ps Kong Hee ended with this, saying how we should be a potato Christian :)

Very blessed night indeed, so blessed by the Word, the company, the time-out, thank You Jesus,  I love You.