"Oh ya.... Remember you said last time that you were..." *twirls finger in the air in the search of the right memory*
"You said you were the kuchi or something.. and that she is the partner and I'm the partner...." *twirling*
"You mean, when I said I was the peanut?"
"Ya! You said something to the effect that you're very small or insignificant..." *I could feel my tears build up*
"If you have a job, you gotta do your job. You gotta do your job well" (or smth like that)
"In a previous file, if we were to draft an affidavit (a great one), we wouldn't know where to start. But if the LA comes and points out to me several letters in the correspondence, the partner will take it to thoughts and think, 'Ah, that's a good point'. And then begins the crafting of affidavit. Without the LA's knowledge on the correspondence, we wouldn't know how to do (go about) it.
If your job is to maintain the correspondence, then do it! You gotta do your job!
So, don't you ever think you are insignificant! Everyone has a role to play."
-
Been slacking in devotion this week, in spite of desperate needs.
Subliminally/subconsicously, I've been praying/hoping/desiring that God will encourage me. I dare note even verbalizing such request in my head, but merely lingering on a memory where my prayer for an encouragement with pure childlike uncomplicated faith was granted during Bar school, several times.
I didn't know how to cope, so I suppress.
Though I continued to carry such intense longing, I'd like to say at my posterior lobe (at the back of my head), if there was one *chuckles... I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. (Couldn't in italics because.. idk how true it is.)
After the short convo this morn, as I sat back in my chair, I wondered if this was the encouragement I'd been seeking for.
I will claim it, for all good things come from the Good Father. Thank you Lord, regardless, of what (i.e. i actually mean my lack of faith, or good sense, whichever).
-
P.S. In my suppressing and coping this week, my frail heart turned to Grey's Anatomy in search for a remedy to my soul, or just a distraction maybe. I kinda buried myself in Grey's Anatomy (which I honestly think is my favourite and the best TV show, ever) after multiple futile attempts against it. Sheperd swoons me, every, time, I literally smile ear to ear, each time until I had to deliberately remember that this person while in the delivery of his charm is surrounded by cameras and cameramen all around. I'm in disbelief myself at the swooning. I find my true desire for a relationship reignited, upon shoving it away deliberately for a season. Watching GA at this season of my life brought much enlightenment and perspective - suddenly I relate to the rookies tryna make sense of their drilling work life, relationship, adulthood, family burdens, bills, competition.. Perhaps, i thought it a faithful companion while it (the episodes) lasted. No doubt it caused me to revisit the history of my pursuit of medicine. At one point, I wondered if I'd be better or if medicine actually was my thing since it's more objective than it is subjective - which is the substance of law, tbh, that I struggle most with.
BTW.
