25th of March, Monday

YO! Today was a gloomy day for me, haha, probably it's cuz I'm tired. Also tired from rotting during the weekends, cuz there was just no ooomph for me to do anything.. On Friday, I got home from college, dove in for a nap till like 9pm! Ahah, that feeling was just amazing. I woke up to pitch darkness, with my roomie asleep next to me. I thought it was 1 a.m., like geeez. haha. So my daddy's phone call woke me up, and we chatted for half an hour, he said he was proud of me. Haha. I fell asleep on the red sofa after that.

So the next day.. Yi-Ling and I went to grab breakfast. A wrap pizza, bowl of porridge and i got myself coffee bean whereas she got Starbucks. Then we started rotting at Starbucks. I was struck with the Tetris addiction, lol, never knew this day would come. >.< Then around 4pm, Ohana came to pick me up for church :) I tried some makeup on, haha, but zzzoonkkkzz, epic failure :P eheheh. Oh! and I bought a RM 35 dress, which isn't pretty when I tried it on =( oh well, lesson learnt! Church was cool! Met Charlotte, then went to Tappers for dinner at Setiawalk, Puchong. It's a nice place!

And I felt kinda happy slowly, cuz I felt that I could slowly blend in with the church people, not super well yet, but at least much better than first time, and I chatted with Edward, and with Carmen. Carmen's so warm! She made my feel so happy. So.. yeah, it was like a beginning to a good start ;)
-
till I checked my phone and saw so many missed calls, geeez it felt like the beginning of a nightmare >.< And I saw that lovely rewarding text! I was supposed to be ecstatic, but was overwhelmed the feeling of fear. Lol. I didn't want them to be disappointed at me when they just felt so proud of me two days ago. Anyway, thats all. But i'm really grateful, they didnt have to do that :') < 3

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Went to Publika with Yi-Ling on Sunday and bought my loveeely sweet potatos! <3 p="">
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Dinner wtih Hyung, and he talked to me loads. I'm puzzled, lost and caught in between.. Lol. Had Moo Cow, Hokkien Mee, and ChaTime! Absolutely ideal way to get fat..

And now I'm overwhelmed with this scholarship thing that I have to quickly finish apply. It sounds so easy lol, but it seems a bit daunting to me.. =/ hwaaaiiittttiiinnngg! < 3 =)

To all of you back at home, miss you loads, and your forever in my heart =)
Live well!! < 3

22 March 2013

Photos for your pleasure:

And i feel so so so so so so proud of Wilson Chin the mean ass. =)
oh oh, can you see my mommy and daddy?! :D

Came home after school today at about 5pm, went into dreamland and had bad dreams about Hanafi! I was like, "awww man! what happened to my Bruno Mars? :(" woke up to pitch darkness at 9:10pm, thought something was wrong :O And chatted with my aboji for a while =) 

< 3

hasta la vista~

21st of March, 2013

This is it.

****

So, today's judgement day, where our SPM results would be announced for all. After months after the exams, my emotions were hyped up again awaiting something to trigger the excitement in me. I needed something to give me sensation, move me. As I woke up from  my sleep, I dreamt that I didn't do well in my exams. I got several C's, several D's, 2A's and I got two E's for two english papers respectively. I felt like a major disappointment to my parents, but I still comforted myself in ways that I usually would.

ngehehe, and I got this out of the blues! so excited. i went to dig it out X))

 hahaha i feel so blessed.

I woke up at 8.20a.m., lacked time to wash my hair, so had to go college with my unkempt and frizzy hair, and haphazardly went to school without breakfast, if I don't recall wrongly. The lessons kicked off with Psychology, only about 8 people were present, the rest were away to collect their results. Then it was LAN, we were supposed to pass up this video, which caused Alvin and Franson to sleep only at 3 a.m., ironically, Mr William never turned up as he was stressing on how punctual we ought to be passing up our assignment. oh well.. Me and Shareen then sat at the table outside Beta Theatre, waiting to text to 15888 (the government line) to claim our results. Ants were all over our pants, and we were bouncing off the walls - literally, subtly, not physically, but emotionally. haha. We exchanged our phones, thinking to find out about the results for each other. We texted at 10a.m. sharp, nth came back. We texted several more times, there were never replies. oh screw this system. (even tho it worked well when i tried it on the night before which is 12++ a.m. just to make sure i get the right line.)

meee and shhhaareeeen! :)

I called Wilson, Vikki etc, to ask em about it, to get ready together. Meanwhile, Shareen facetimed/skyped/called her friends and family. And as each minute passed, the butterflies grew more and more intense in our stomach, we just couldn't stand still on both our feet. haha. Then I suggested lunch, so we could walk while wait, and eat while we wait. We went to the usual Korean stall place with Shaz, and we waited. I was very agitated cuz we sorta waited for about half an hour.. The excitement sank, and I just felt fed-up. It reminded me of the times when I did track n field, you get so tense and stirred up the period before the competition, but when they postpone it, ugh, I just get so pissed off and ugh, the anxiety just dies off.

So anyway, back to what happened, in the family What'sApp group, my dad asked me to take a guess, and i was like "who on earth would ask someone to guess their results?!" hahah that degree of intensity hahaha. then i got really nervous! I ordered Korean food and Cham Ping ( RM 10 in total) which I don't usually do. I lost my appetite when my parents found out and they haven't told me yet. I called my mum and my dad, but there was no pickups! It was such a pain in the ass to feel tormented this way >.< haha. then my mum sent a text, "In a meeting with the school now, talk to you soon." and I was like, "why would you go for a meeting when you're just to collect my results?!" "aahhhhh, this is killing me man." Deep inside my heart, a notion of maybe I did pretty well came up but was diminished instantly. haha. Then my dad called me for a short conversation, i was like

"okay, you can't tell me first dad. gotta let me guess. Don't spill it out ok ok ok ok?! I'm gonna ask you questions, and you're gonna answer according to what I want you to answer. deal?!" 

"okokok, ask ahead.."

 "so, do you think i did 'good', 'bad' or 'average'?" 

"good, good"

 "ok. hmm. what subjects did I get B for?" 

"biology" "whew ok. *omg is it 11As?!! screeecccheesss ahhhh!!!*"

 "and 1 more subject, take a guess, quick." 

"errrr, accounts?" 

"nono, surprisingly you got an A chris!"

 "hahahahha. errrr" 

"quick quick, its very easy one" 

"errr..." 
"chinese la aiyoyo"

hahahah I was head over heels and I sorta shed a quick tear! It was too unexpected, and I feel sooo grateful! I was happy that I could make my parents proud, that they were able to undergo an interview and appear on the papers still, after I've left school, after my sister left school. Cuz they were always there for my sister's achievements, and it got less since she left school, while I was still in high school. Haha. so yeah, im really happy! =)

awww i feel so proud for these people! ahh Shiela, you've done so well =)

:') :'( i shed a tear when i saw this. hahah. cuz i'm supposed to be in the photo, be with my friends, but my parents are there on my behalf instead. haha :) glad that they took a photo tho. < 3
look at my mummy and daddy..

then i went for sort of like a 'Celebration' dinner with Alvin, Chee Ren, Roland and Franson. :) got my McFlurry!! < 3 ahahah. congratzpeepos~ =)

Mmmmm RM 30 dinner! When my food came, like ohhhmeeegaaazzzz, it felt so rewarding! =) hahaha i love you daddy God!

~

heheh. so happy! thank God :) thank you everrybooddyyy.

I dream that dream too.

So, I was reading a friend's blog in college just now. I was supposed to spend like 10 minutes but ended up spending more than an hour as her blog caught my attention with her pretty pretty photos. :) hehe :) I went through her posts way back then, and I found the post that marked the beginning of her love story < 3 apparently, they got to know each other for only a while, then they confessed their affection towards one another and they got together. It was a very simple, easy gesture. how sweet. < 3

So speaking of love or relationships now, I'd wanna have a feel of what it's like. I'm really curious. I've gone despo, why of course, especially when those chic-flic movies and romantic novels such as by Nicholas Sparks just tickles my heart into wanting it myself. I'd dream about whoever who fits into the picture perfectly, and begin my non-existent fantasies, hoping they'll come to life soon. Nevertheless, I'd never taken it seriously as an option before, as to whether it's even a possibility, cuz there has always been this notion about myself where it won't be happening any sooner, probably it shall only start when I start my career. Lolz, call me old-fashioned. I've always just let these thoughts remain as fantasies, without giving much consideration cuz I thought they were to no avail anyway, nothing's gonna happen in the end, so I'd just keep em to myself.

So, that thought was instilled in my head ever since I was young, and it went on till high school and till... now. Haha, I forgot that I'm in college now and there could be twist and turn at how things go. Speaking of which, I can't believe I'm in college now like omgooosssshhh! :OOO okay, nvm, back to topic..

hmm so yea. I'm sure it's lovely to be deeply loved and cared by someone unconditionally, experience a love so genuine and true by someone other than your family members, someone who loves you for you, and even though you may not be perfect, you are perfect in his world and you guys just compliment each other. and when you guys hang out, you just feel so extremely secure and you don't have to worry about anything, how you can lean or that person when your tired, or just cuddle together during a movie. and play never-ending chase and hit each other like kids :) how nice.

Aww, shoo cutee :33

So yeah, goodnight world!

I have a dream too.
My protector, my shield, my hat, my comforter, my refuge......., my love, my everything.

hola~

 Potent contributing factor to diabetes. ahhhhh

Ma purshon.

16th of March 2013

Quick look-see:

I wake up..

Had Dim Sum breakfast..

Chatted with lubly people...

Bought food and drinks for the movie..

my gain X))

a chat before i sleep..

attached with a cute photo hahaha XD

and vanity strikes for a split second the next morning..

and off back to reality.

Spendthrift

Lol, I'm losing track at the speed of my bills flying away.

And there goes my RM 300 I just withdrew yesterday. Lolzzzxx.

Gotta be frugal man, self control!!! #notetoself

TAYLORIFIED

People here are so distinct from where I come from. People might think that KK is just a small city compared to KL which is definitely true. Relevant to this fact, people's characters are so different. I suppose leaving S3, coming over here, is definitely an eye opener to the real world out there. Honestly, I may be missing out on all the great things and wonderful memories I could have carved, and I feel sad about it, truly, I feel sad. But I suppose after coming over, it's a fresh start and I should see it with optimism. Having said all this, the extent to which I feel sad, it doesn't really kill me. It's like I've always felt this in me, "You can make any other decisions. They'll each lead you to each route of its own. There's the upsides and downsides in all, you just gotta decide." And here comes the opportunity cost, choosing one thing means giving up another. You gain something, you lose something. It's the painful truth about reality. So, I feel like decisions are something you've got to do. It's not easy, but it's essential to move on to the next phase in life. And I know that, after I've thoroughly decided on something, God will just fill in the gaps. So yeah.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9

Reaching here, I wasn't aware of what to expect, I was anxious, worried, insecure, hanging by the thread, and... well, scared. Then I met people, and it was good! It was so nice. Then I got disappointed. Yup, bummed up by the challenges I faced. I usually face trials with optimism, going still all bubbly, and putting effort to make things better. Hmm. I chose to give up in the end though. Give up to take control of things, and really just let God. I chose to think, whatever comes comes, whatever goes, will well, go. So I might just as well take things with a pinch of salt. Those that come, I'd definitely be genuine, complete honesty. But if something chimes in, then okay, I'll try my best to let it go.

Through this, I cherish my friendships and relationship with my family and God more and more each day. They sorta pull me back together, let me remain intact. Just as I am on the verge of suffering a crack, they sorta come and mould it or amend it till it's good enough to let me stand on my own unaided. Just like a baby learning to walk.. They are my backbone.

It isn't easy, really, but with them around, I just feel that I can pull through.
God never promised life would be easy, but He promised that He'd be with us every step of the way. Hmm, so yeah. It's never really fatal, just gotta stay strong and hardcore.

As Tasha and Sarah are coming in a week's time, I feel even stronger to brave the battlefield. My army's here man. Bring it on.

Study wise, it's good ;) hehe, Taylor's is a good college. =)

13th of March 2013

Ya know I felt so emo today. After I came back from Student Council meeting, after frying fish, i felt so drained and it just pulled me way down emotionally.
sighs.
then i texted Puyol "hey what are you doing?" which was supposed to be sent earlier in the day. and I called my Hindi Po, and they lifted my mood instantly. :) thank God for friends hehe. then had a bananalaksjdlfajwiaoiajflsdfa session with Alvin lol. haha. yeppss.

:)

thoughts~

I've never really addressed whoever as my best friend(s), not cuz I don't have any, but I have so manyyy. haha. but anyhow, at this moment now, I really wanna say that,

I miss my best friend < 3

:)

17th of March, 2013

Ngehehehe, countadown about 15 days to the land below the wind, land that has my heart deeply hooked onto it.
< 3 wait for me baby.

Friday night was a pretty exciting night cuz I was in the midst of buying air tix back home a two weeks after the April sem break :P ngehehe, so excited~ I haven't seen ma sista in forever. ahhhh. And i just realised how we haven't taken a photo together in ages.

see ya around ma lady ;)

i feel suffocated

17/03/13
I shall resume tomorrow.
On my kachingz, and sakai. <3 p="">nights peepos~

16th of March 2013

Hellooo to this virtual world beyond my own.
I'm currently at Ipoh! Came down here yesterday by train for about 2 and a half hours, went for the famous "Nga-Choi-Gai" last night, then to Pasar Malam which was fun! hehe, went for Dim Sum this morning, and went shopping after! =) it was definitely a interesting day spent! I feel so happy and easy around here. #homesick

Facts I learnt today:
1) Sabah has a population of 3 million
2) KK has a population of 600 k =)

<3 br="" home="" i="" love="" nbsp="">

weeeee, i had Subway for lunch yesterday! Subwayy is soooo good, i've been waiting for forever for this =)) #steak&cheese

Cassycious! =)

It was blood donation yesterday, but too bad I'm not legit to donate cuz I got a piercing in January :( poor me, I was so hyped up about it, thoughts of saving 3 lives just inspired me to donate blood for em. Oh well... 

ON DA WAY TO IPPOOOOHHH:

Nga-Choi-Gai~

Meanwhile, I don't know what's the ocassion at home, but my parents were having such a feast :OOO ugh, so sinful, doing it without me :( hahah 

With daa Roomie in PASAR MALAM :D

our gain :D hahah

-end-

i just wanna care less

 outburst

geeeez, i have so much to write.

right, firstly, i'm not gonna let this hurt me, no i will not. 

nope, i definitely won't. there's so much more to life than these lil things.

so so so so so much more.

sometimes i feel like cursing and swearing. but no, i'm not gonna let them form syllables that i shall utter, cuz like he said 'repetitive of the words', it brings into action. 

i only feel offended, cuz i care, i care about what we have, erm, have.

i may be caring less now, but still, i guess there's still this tiny part of me holding on, though i thought i've already let go.

i'm gonna loosen my grip, and just let my hand slip. yep, that's what i will do.

there's no tarnishing my dignity, nope.

I'm strong enough to overcome this. 

i may not be physically fit for this, but i know that i can do it, cuz Christ the Lord has given me strength. Phillipians 4:13, I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

12/03/13

geeez, thanks for telling me