thoughts post-XX//

 i think the issue is, 

whether each of the young adult is being discipled.

its not abt the numbers, nor the ocassional testimonies.

but if we're all being (actively) refined into His image on a daily basis.

otherwise,

what is the point...

we all attend parties in search of that smth..

but some go home feeling less "fulfilled" than ideal expectations.

the dream is we create a community that is edifying 

to all who cross our paths

are we edifyin?

how do we get there?

can we be a community that rises above the waves to surf and rescue those crumbling under the waves

can we in active wrestle of our difficulties actively lean on and engage with our God who is greater and attend parties with great faith and intention to be less-aware of us yet fixated on more (if not, All) of Him and reach, the One...

// no prayers for me, cuz im upset series...

midnight thoughts 18/12

 i awake at 7.30

i get ready

i rush off to church

i converse with amanda

ellie tries to catch me for lunch (luls)

i eat lunch

i head home 

i unload at 3pm

i rest till 5pm

i get ready

i squeeze in greetings with the folks with the drive on the way pretty filled with guilt & slight anxiety

i head to dinner

i leave at 1030

my head hits the bed at 1130

i send my belated birthday appreciation msgs 

my eyes rush to shut by the end of it

my phone vibrates next to me night lamp minutes later

i struggle to arise

"i am so... tired"

*vibrates

"i am so... limited"

*sighs

-blackout-