of hustle & bustle

Today, I am feeling very, grateful for an overseas education. (my parents didn't even have a chance to go to a good school.) I'm very grateful, to be entitled as a student, to demand the best education experience in my uni. Kudos to those who fought to emphasize the importance of education in our world. (I am here also because of you.)

Today I feel, rather determined and motivated to embrace my time in school. As much as I often dread: school/exams, feeling like a lost kid,  dancing around in this cloud of uncertainty, always wrestling between the idea of finding more & keep trying new things, or the idea of "adult-ifying" myself, psych myself to get my shiz together, & start focusing or settle - as I enjoyed my lil library excursion, I'm grateful that I have another year of studies to look forward to, to making things right (if not better), to be a better student, another year to allow myself the entitlement of a child.

The reality of life, adulthood recently visited my thoughts, as it also daunted on me the fleeting of my youth. Being 22 (21 going 22), suddenly, being "mature" at a young age no longer feels so exciting, because my youth will be gone in a split second, then from that second on, we will always be plagued with expectations of behaving as an adult, to behave rationally and responsibly. People will start to be less forgiving towards our 'little' mistakes and wantonness.

I'm grateful that I have another "solid year", while I enjoy the hybrid of student+adult life, to have room for making mistakes still.

Annabelle shared with me an article yesterday,

“I am always worried. I overthink situations in my head, even those that have not happened yet. I look so far ahead of me..." 

"Sometimes, I wish I can fast-forward my life to the day when my story is better, and when my world is bigger. Somehow I am more focused in looking at the things that I don’t have instead of appreciating the things that I have. I compare my journey to someone else’s journey...."

Although the essence of the article should have sunk in & educated me yesterday, today I still write this post in anticipation of the day when I do my Bar school (where I intend to grow & be better). :P

(cont of article) "I compare my journey to someone else’s journey, while neglecting the truth that I have a different route in life to take. I keep thinking that I’m behind. I keep choosing to be blind to notice the blessings You’ve been showering me with. I keep forgetting to let go.”

So as my feelings are enjoyable today, I'm still only halfway living in the present and other half waiting to be met by my future. I pray that as my uni life draws to an end, God, You teach me and help me to fully live in the present, to let go and be okay with not knowing everything, and let your grace surprise me day by day.

*

Annabelle shared with me another great stuff today! (isn't she great?!?!)

this video has brought about lots of sentiments, it's so personal. 

I hope it encourages you too. :)

p.s. though my life isn't as exciting as per the secular definition of "excitement" (e.g. scuba diving or Europe country-hopping all the time) thereby not conferring those substances in my blog posts, these blog posts are the rawest and most honest depiction of my everyday life. 

It's mostly filled with a lot of personal thoughts and emotions, that "makes up the texture of my life".  by now, you would know that I have A LOT (truckload) of thoughts, and many of them (my blog content) don't even arise out of "extraordinary" events/activities (e.g. parties, travelling to another country, trying something new), but more from the in-between moments which continue to shape my character, my values and my identity. 

My point is.... thanks for sticking around & coming on this journey with me! :)

(though speaking of which, I really should get on with trying something new!! eek!!)

Cheers!! xx