hmm.
youth was good.
i haven't been there for a while and i find it quite interesting today.
you know,
Isaac was talking about people seperated from God and things like that.
That there are plenty of reasons why people can't reach out to God.
well, sin.
sighs.
like he said, people go to youth for different purposes.
some go because of God.
some go because of friends.
and many more.
honestly speaking, i usually go because of a friend.
A friend. Just one.
Well, my friend didn't come today and i wasn't really looking forward to youth but im glad i went.
I realised that doing so is a reaaaally bad thing.
And it draws you much further from God.
I always wonder if God is really there evertime i pray.
I find it really hard to concentrate to one thing when i close my eyes.
I always have an image of God when i close my eyes to pray.
But as time goes by, i find it really really hard to concentrate.
And during worship, i don't feel much of His presence.
Though they always say when you wanna feel God's presence,
You have to really want it.
And be like desperate i guess.
I tried.
And i tried.
I always do but i just can't seem to feel His presence.
And it just sucks.
And after a long while, i kinda got a lil tired of it and i got lazy.
Like i kept delaying the devotion that im supposed to do.
Excuses after excuses and i seriously stopped after a while.
and yeah.
And so i felt like im really far from God.
I even brought the devotion book thingy to KL with me but i didn't even bother to just flip a page.
And just now, it was kinda an eye opener.
I realised this and a lot of things that i've been doing that actually keep me from connecting to God.
And so when it was near the end of youth, they were gonna pray.
I wanted to pray together so so badly as i've been waiting for this for like ages..
Then my dad called and insisted on me leaving.
So.... yeahh.
sighs.But i guess i can't actually just depend on them,
I've gotta make every move myself.
And yeahh.
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Hmm okay.
Time for the life updates! :p
Well,
KL trip was alright.
It was reaaally quick though.
And.. i sucket at forum :p
ahahah.
not to brag, but practice was good.
like real good. everybody was.
then when it was our turn,
i got so nervous.
and i didn't realise like when u speak there'll actually be an echoooo cause the room was so quiet with everybody watching you.
and my tuition teacher was one of the judges and she was just right in front of me.
so embarassing. :/
then i spoke like kinda weird lahh :S
then right all of a sudden,
i accidentally called the penforum pertama: KerPeiJia
saudara sebastian.
and it was so humiliating.
everybody was bloody laughing.
my bm teacher as well. she was laughing all the way.
then another penforum who's a girl as well was laughing.
she got soo red :p ahah
so yeahh.
bad day :S
then i went and asked the teacher bout our results today and she told us that she thinks we got the fourth.
i knew who were the top threes like for a while ady.
so it kinda surprised me a lil.
butt yeahh.
she also told us that we could've gotten third if our ahlipanel pertama who is the sebastian guy showed up.
but because he didn't so KerPeiJia took his place.
hmmm.
life then. :p
i talk so much. :x
ermm i think i needa break up with people for a while now.
certain people.
they just make my life more and more confusing.
haiiih.
okay enough of the crap now. bye :p
