let this be my prayer.

[Verse 1]
Let me be filled
With Kindness, and compassion for the One
The One for whom You loved, and gave Your Son
For humanity; increase my love

[Chorus]
Help me to love with open arms, like You do
A love that erases all the lines, and sees the truth
Oh that when they look in my eyes, they would see You
Even in just a smile; they would feel the Father's love

[Verse 2]
Oh how He loves us
From the homeless, to the famous, and in between
You formed us, You made us carefully
'Cause in the end; we're all Your children

[Chorus]
So help me to love with open arms, like You do
A love that erases all the lines, and sees the truth
Oh that when they look in my eyes, they would see You
Even in just a smile; they would feel the Father's love

[Bridge]
Let all my life, tell of who You are
And the wonder of, Your never-ending love
Let all my life, tell of who You are
You're wonderful, and such a good Father

Let all my life, tell of who You are
And the wonder of, Your never-ending love
Let all my life, tell of who You are
You're wonderful, and such a good Father
You're wonderful, and such a good Father

[Chorus]
Help me to love with open arms, like You do
A love that erases all the lines, and sees the truth
Oh that when they look in my eyes, they would see You
Even in just a smile; they would feel the Father's love ...

[entitle me]

It's the kind of pain you experience when someone else experiences a pain that is completely unrelatable to you.. but you experience it so deeply like it's yours anyway, because of the love you have for that person.

Let go.

"A devout life does bring wealth, but it’s the rich simplicity of being yourself before God."

The good fight of faith. The battle for your own soul, the struggle for peace and hope and wisdom that is wrestled within.

“Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” – (1 Tim 6:11-12 ESV).

- 

"For most of us, it’s not the actual event of hurt that cripples us, it’s the shame and ache of it afterward that keeps us silent and still, and won’t allow us to move into healing and wholeness."

Let it go, Christabelle.

pray

"God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer." - Mother Teresa

Hello

I'm a BPTC student,
Yet things like these totally make my day like kray.
Like.. life-injecting kinda kray.

She made it sound like we've been friends forever!!! *cries*

If you & I share a similar Asian stereotype of what Barristers/Lawyers should appeal like,
then you'd probably understand. :P :) 

-

“By doing what you love you inspire and awaken the hearts of others.” 

Satsuki Shibuya Todo

Liz, you surely have inspired and awakened many hearts today.
(though I am assuming this is what you love; otherwise you truly are one heck of a character & talent)

Thank you for inspiring me!

Or rather, uplifted my soul, although my ambition & passion may not be the same as yours, and probably never will be, but I caught sparks of your fire today. Which is enough to reinvigorate my soul for whatever cause, at least for a little while.

Passion is contagious.

Positive vibes are truly influential and transformational.

#goodvibes #dancingintherain #makelemonades

xx.

Advocacy is an art!

It's interesting how...

If I were part of the audience, thus not one of the participants during advocacy, I am able to analyze the situation in my logical mind, and undergo critical thinking individually and find myself having significant takeaways upon the end of it.

But when I am part of the play, I get so consumed in delivering what I ought to do, and unable to critically analyze or absorb everything else that is going on like a third person would.

yet at the end of the day, everyone is just trying to perform their roles to their maximum, in order to "perform a good show" to the audience/jury, which all makes sense at the end of it.

uncanny...

is this how its supposed to be? hmm.

Happiest I've (ever) been!

This draft was created on 23 October 2017, with the same title.

It's been ringing in my head for the past few days,
Felt exceptionally loud last night.

I'm glad, after 1 month plus, I still feel the same.

*

In fact, today, I feel like I could really cry on my last day here. I'm not sure if it's the coffee. (But at least I'm sure it's not PMS, so I'm not living a lie! :P)

But at the same time, I suppose, I'm glad I'm feeling it now (this early), so I still have ample opportunity to appreciate time with people around me, that I think I love oh so dearly, albeit I have yet to get to know each of them better honestly.

Oh such lovable people,

Oh such is our God with endless love, kindness, grace, wonder..
And perfection.

You take me on a fantasy in this reality, my Lord.

Oh how I am so grateful...

(to be continued...)

my in-betweens

Lol just kidding! Wish I had that SASS!

*

Another day of failure.

Another day of getting back up..

Another day of moving on...

*

life

Another disappointing advocacy session...

What is my lesson today?

gotta pick myself back up.

and try again.

unfathomable

Jesus + BPTC

How to reconcile?

"Your will be done.."

my reality...

"Why me, Lord?"

"Why did You decide to put me somewhere that is completely out of my character, to do something, which I think is something someone else could do and would do it perfectly. I could be doing something else and excel at it maybe, something I don't feel as taxing, pressuring, more natural, more enjoyable, something I wouldn't have to go home constantly questioning myself, something that's more "me"?.... Why me, here, this?"

*

"Would you deny yourself, for the cause of Christ?"

Would you deny yourself, take up the Cross, for me?

Hunger and thirst

Hunger and thirst, that only You can fill...

I come to You with this thirst,

Won't You fill my cup Lord...

My courtroom sentiments

Today, my heart sank, & I wore a slightly perplexed & more jaded mind as I left the Magistrates Court in Bristol. Funny for me to say this, considering what the parties to the case I had just witnessed must be going through... My feelings don't seem to be justified at all in this comparison. *sighs*

I visited 3 hearings with my coursemates, 2 of which were domestic violence cases, 1 quick one was on minor fraud. The first case involved a verbal abuse by the husband to his spouse, and we ended our day with a domestic violence case between a young couple with 4 children which engaged in a verbal combat never ceasing going around in circles, with the prospect of really resolving a conflict and of filling up the real & striking gaps really distant in thin air. The injury that was brought up in the latter's case involved a mere pink bump on the wife's forehead, whereas her husband contested that he had suffered injuries in his hands and neck due to her clawings - his photos were unfortunately not presented, I don't know why. (crush) Thank goodness the injuries were only as severe as aforementioned, I honestly don't think I could have handled anything more gruesome, at least not today...

It was such a great and fulfilling experience! I truly had many lessons and insights to take away.

1) It's amazing how much the real court scene reflects a TV drama. Part of me feels ecstatic that I can relate and be so engaged, each time anticipating the next party to make his move and see what happens next. Part of me felt rather sinful to maybe enjoying this a little too much. With this, I also felt disheartened learning how the reality of some people's lives could be as dramatic as a tv show... You either win or lose big time. & that would be final, some people's lives will just be changed forever.

2) My heart took a blow each time I saw the defendants unrepresented. I can recall this emotive phase during my past court visits in M'sia - where several drug/theft offenders were left unrepresented during their plea in mitigation, they were silent as to what to do, but God bless the gracious judge who prompted them quite significantly with leading questions causing them to give answers that reflect their real and present mitigating circumstances. I will never forget this. I will also not forget the officers/court assistants who sneered and scorned at the suspects. During that time, one offender had a representation. When it came to others turns, the lawyer sat back at the bench with the crowd. I know it is not his duty or responsibility to represent other people for free, but I can't help but feel that he could have done more... Today, all the suspects were unrepresented. In my mind, I kept wondering what the reason could be. Could it be money? Or ignorance? Either way, they're not good reasons. It's not the most exciting scene to witness a person trying to fend for himself in the witness box, whilst being dictated what to do, when he may not be aware of what matters and what not in that situation which could potentially break his life...

4) Thank God that language is not a barrier in England! Albeit no representation, they were able to understand what was going on, at least to a certain extent, and could interact / engage with the judges/lawyers at least, in an organic human way.

3) I also appreciated how the judges and court assistants were rather polite and courteous whilst interacting with the suspects / parties. e.g. the court clerk reiterated twice to the first suspect his right to free legal representation, to ensure he knows clearly what his rights were.

4) I also appreciated the free legal aid that was made available!

5) It was also disheartening to be confronted with such realities of life that do exist. Circumstances that people live in which we may not be aware of all the time, or forget because we are just so blessed... The man in the first case pleaded guilty at first instance, he later broke down when the court asked him if he has anything else to say, and said, "I don't know why i did what i did. When I see a fly, I open the window to let it out. I would never hurt anyone. I just lost everything because of my stupidity. I lost my house, my family, my friends..." Aiyo, my heart just sank, or a heavy anchor sank into the depths of my heart. Having said that, the prosecution's account of events in such details of his verbal abuse certainly scraps away some sympathy. It made me wonder, what could have potentially gone wrong in this person's life that's caused him to lead the life he now has...

6) In relation to the previous case, I also appreciate that the English courts do adjudicate fairness and intervene in cases even as seemingly trivial as "verbal abuse". Well, it also included threats to kill and crude threats of violence. Nevertheless, it is enlightening as I don't know if this would be a common scene in Malaysia's courts.

7) I appreciate that the BPTC is highly reflective of real-life practice. It was insightful to see barristers in action, interacting with the judges in a reasonable, rational and sensible enough manner. The professionalism of legal practitioners is commendable (although I also felt bad for the people who had to be grilled by such refined and well-trained barristers :( :P).

I left the courts in a rather perplexed state because the last case just didn't seem to go anywhere. Both parties had plenty of gaps in their stories, I don't know who to believe, how to feel, how to judge. To a certain extent, I do feel slightly betrayed at the contemplation of potential lies (that'd then make me cringe at the thought of how out of character ppl are capable to become when they are hard-pressed). I wonder how the judges will attempt to resolve this deadlock, in all their wisdom.

Anyway, you must be thinking, "aiyo, with so much emotions, how to become a lawyer? how to do anything if so emotional???" As emotional and gullible I may have presented myself to be, I understand that stories may be fabricated, it could have all been an act to win the court's sympathy. And that brings me back to the harshness of reality.

Sitting through the courts, I kept pondering in my heart, "God, what do you want me to do with this experience? With all that I'm feeling?" I wondered which part of my dormant dreams, desires & probably undiscovered passion could have been sparked or fuelled. I also played through briefly the possibilities of me wearing different hats in relation to the various personnel that were present in the courtroom. I didn't find an answer, which is fine.. :)  //

"Break my heart for what breaks Yours,"

Are these what that break Your heart, my Lord?

*

rindu

Today, I teared because my heart so greatly misses my loved ones..

Oh, life...

where i meet You.