the gift.

This is insane.
I hope it blesses your life,
Just as it did mine...

 

child, be still & know.

Today, I was greeted by this beautiful and captivating view embracing UWE. Gosh, what a beautiful university. Couldn't hold back my admiration for its beauty. My mind went blank, all skepticism fled, & really I had nothing to say except marvel in this beauty. 

A verse then popped into my head. "Taste & see that the Lord is good..." I couldn't finish the verse :P I googled it, & it continued with "blessed is the one who take refuge in Him." (Psalm 34:8)

Amen. 

It felt a little like a slap in the face (obviously not slap, God wouldn't do that :P) just thinking about the fit I threw yesterday, how I felt that God wasn't with me, I couldn't feel his coverage, so plagued by fear, anxiety, worry... I was so distracted by skepticism despite being certain of my salvation in my heart/head, & albeit I searched & sought & sought to immerse myself in Bible verses trying to find hold God account to His promises. I was so upset when peace didn't come as instantly as I wished it would. 

This morning, I woke up. After the Actors Session, I felt so much better. I knew that time would heal.

After class today, as I walked back to my accommodation, upon stumbling upon this view, I couldn't find any cell in me that could defy God's goodness. I was comforted as I acknowledged the second half of the verse, "blessed are those who take refuge in Him," Something whispered in my heart, "You are blessed, Belle." Then I'm reminded by Jade's encouragement, "You're too blessed to be stressed!"

Then in my heart I couldn't stop thinking "Great is Your faithfulness". 

I was tempted to be skeptical as to whether this was God's way of speaking to me, but there's really no denying God's wonderful creation. There's nothing else I could say or think or bring myself to say, but just say that "God is good." It is evidently palpable through His creations. Psalms 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands." My human being is just puny & purely incapable to not fall into worship. I so enjoyed my little alone walk with perfect weather today, I wish it could've lasted forever... 

So, guys, next time when you're upset, don't stay in your room & be moody about it okay? You must get out at least, let nature embrace you, let His wondrous works do the talking & comforting. You're bound to feel better, I promise**

I am comforted, albeit also embarrassed. 

But above all, I'm so thankful.

Thankful for all that's been happening. :)

(Thankful for such heartwarming text convos with mum & A. Eve today)

Thank You Lord. :)

*gotta make space for quietness, & let Him speak. I should prolly do this everyday, go outside, sit for a bit, & enjoy His wondrous works - especially in a beautiful country with PERFECT weather!!! hehe.

retrospective sense

"Now that you've finished your year in Reading, if you could go back knowing how it'd be, what would you change?"

I actually miss it so much.

I'd take more chill pills, enjoy my sleeps more instead of feeling stressed/guilty about it. I'd enjoy my sleepings, then wake up, make food, & go to library to study. 

I'd say Yes when I want to, No when I want to, and be happy, and move on..... > to enjoying my sleep :P

I'd stress less, & just go on with whatever I've decided :) (e.g. going to Acts London for instance)

So: more chill pills, enjoying everything I do, don't stress when I sleep. :D 

:3

Food for Soul //

[my chickensoup]

Had the privilege to visit KL over last weekend.
My trip was so fruitful & fulfilling, my heart is so full. (but never enough)
Thinking back, I catch myself smiling hehe.

Started off with a quiet Thursday night - albeit quiet, but so precious. God knows how much the luxury of alone time without any obligations for one night alone means to me! Then escalated to a CRAZY weekend filled with back-to-back meetups. I loved every bit of it! Also met up with some Reading peeps which I didn't manage to take photo with.

Joycelyn's 20th birthday in AM/PM! :) SO happy to meet HOMIES!

Acts London-ers in Acts Subang :)

Acts London-ers in Acts Subang :)

Also was extremely privileged to meet Aunty Evelynn & her mum-in-law, a meeting planned out of nowhere, courtesy of Ps Yoong. Her zeal for the Lord is crazily bubbling over every cell of her being, you can't miss it not a chance! She gifted me her book that I just finished today. Heart is full from catching a glimpse of her full onz drama life, as she relays endless stories of her walk with God that's caused her life to be SO FULL. I have so much I can learn from her.

-

KL has been made the home of my heart over the last year of my 3.5years there. It's uncanny how I can enter KL hating it, yet leave loving it to the extent of being heartbroken :( I miss it everyday, I miss the people, I miss church, I miss the generous opportunities Taylor's actually offers. As dreadful and angry as I was to uproot and leave, I knew I couldn't stay - Eccles 3:1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. - Being able to visit KL truly felt like coming home. It's uncanny because everything'd feel so familiar, yet 1 year has changed, some things remain the same, some things have drastically changed - e.g. I saw a lady I met last year, she looks the same yet now she has a baby at home!!!! :O

It feels quite surreal that the short weekend has come and gone, but I'm ever so thankful for everything. For the friendships which were strengthened and lasted, for new ones that's been forged, for glimpses of faces I've caught, for lessons to be learned. Also, uber thankful for Amanda for granting me the ideal (if not best!) accommodation to complement my plans seamlessly. :D

-

*God I don't know what's in it for me in the next year, but I pray that You're with me in my every single step, that You never ever leave me & forsake me, that only Your will be accomplished, that Your grace is sufficient always, that your peace guide me unceasingly, that I will be courageous like Joshua, that your perfect love casts out ALL fear & anxieties & worries, that You will use me in furtherance of your kingdom.

-

*Ending this post with a mission - how to love my mama more hmmm. Toodles~!